We are living in a world where premarital sex is not taboo anymore, and it isn’t just something you do in order to get a baby. Today, before marriage, sex is about pleasure, connection, healthy relationships, and fun. Let’s see what all the pros of sex before marriage are.
You’ll Have Kids in the Future
Ask anyone who is married, and they’ll tell you that kids get in the way of sex and romance in a relationship. As we all know, storks don’t bring babies — sex does. And what happens after? That baby needs attention, time, and dedication, the time you have to take from your spouse. Of course, you will be more than happy to give all of your free time to your baby. But before you know it, months have passed, and sex is out of the question.
So, use your time pre-kids wisely and enjoy sex with your significant other. And, of course, use a condom.
Sometimes, Kids Get In the Way
Children: our flesh and blood, wonderful beings that we would give our life to. But, sometimes they can be cockblockers. Well, not just sometimes — all the time.
Your baby is finally out of the stage where it constantly needs something, and you feel like you can finally take a breather. Maybe try to make baby number two? Wrong. We have talked about babies getting in the way of your sexy time with your spouse, but what about toddlers?
Toddlers have so many questions; they run, jump, follow you to the bathroom, want to sleep in your bed, etc. You send them to daycare; they bring home the flu. All of those things require your constant care and attention, which means less time for sex.
So, there are both pros and cons of marriage sex — pros: you can do it all the time; cons: you probably won’t because kids are on your way.
Work Stress and Exhaustion
Ok, let’s be fair — not having (regular) sex is not just children’s fault.
Do you remember yourself when you were younger? Your spontaneous seize the day mentality? I guess you wonder now what the hell happened? Life, basically.
In your 20s, for example, you just enjoy life and occasionally complain that school is hard. And then, reality hits you, and the dreaded word “responsibility” becomes your life.
Work, bills, money stress, not having enough time for your spouse, making lunch, doing laundry. The list goes on. As a result, you become a stressed and exhausted human being, and soon enough, sex is the last thing on your mind.
Actually, this is the time when you should especially make room for sex because it can help you a lot. During it, your body produces oxytocin and dopamine, hormones that can help you deal with stress.
It Helps You Reevaluate Relationship’s Compatibility
There are all sorts of compatibility in a relationship: emotional, intellectual, sexual. All of them are equally important for a relationship to last. You can’t have one without the other two because you’ll spend your whole relationship chasing and longing after the ones that are missing.
What happens if you wait for sex when you get married and find out that you are not compatible in that way? Yes, you can work around it, but it is better to know the whole package before stepping into marriage.
Remember Charlotte and Trey from Sex and The City? You surely don’t want that. Maybe you like it rough, but your partner is a gentle soul and doesn’t, or there is just no chemistry between the two of you. If you don’t check it on time, you will be left discussing books and playing racquetball like roommates for the rest of your life.
It Prepares You for Marriage
Having sex is so much more than just having sex. It is intimacy, shared experience, getting to know both your and your partner’s body. But, it is also about communication, believe it or not. You have to learn how to communicate your wishes and desires, likes and dislikes. That is something you learn over time, and that is another pro of sex before marriage.
Isn’t it better to know all of that before getting married? Learning how to communicate during and about sex can also help you with other aspects of your relationship — how to talk when you are angry and say what you want from your partner.
Also, having sex can help people decide if they are physically and mentally capable of sustaining a marriage because, honestly, many people who do get married are not capable of doing that.
Sex Is Not a Big Deal at All
And that is a good thing. Times are changing and bringing us the benefit of enjoying sex and allowing ourselves to explore our sexuality.
We should accept the fact that sex is a normal, natural thing, both for couples and singles, and your desires are nothing to be ashamed of. On the contrary, you should learn how to bring them to life with your partner. What do you like? Share it with your partner.
Of course, if you want to wait to be married to have sex because of your beliefs, that is ok as well. Also, we are not saying that once you get married, it is over for you, sex-wise. We are just saying that sex is fun and should be exploited before marriage because those two are very different.
Everyone is having sex (almost everyone), whether married, in a relationship, or single, so discussing it shouldn’t be taboo anymore.